12 stages of swinging (soft swap or three somes)

So, you have met someone in real time.  Maybe you met at a nudist resort or swinger resort.  You may have met as a result of posting your profile and having arranged to meet up. The point is, you have met up and you are choosing to meet again and everyone knows what is on the menu and it isn't chicken. 

Most people go one of three ways for their first encounter.  They are typically, a soft swap, a full swap, or a threesome.   All are delightful and they all conform to one person's comfort zone..  In the lifestyle, the sexual pace is determined by the most conservative partner.    Traditionally, women are the more conservative, at least initially.   That may be changing.  If two couples agree to swing, soft swap that is determined before they meet up to have sex.  Soft swap is a term to indicate that sex can take place but it will not include intercourse between the couples.    

The idea here is that they reserve intercourse for their primary partner but allow each other to enjoy kissing, cuddling, fondling, petting, oral sex and manual stimulation.   Certainly, the menu of sexual activity can be very exciting.   In most cases, the evening includes intercourse with each other's partner only, often in the presence of the other couple.    The advantages of the soft swap include that it is a kind of a gateway to having intercourse with others, it is very stimulating to see your self or your partner with other people and know that there won't be any intercourse.  

Some couples prefer soft swap because there is less concern about sexually transmitted diseases because intercourse is still the most common way for viruses and bacteria to be spread.    Some people prefer soft swap because they are not ready for a full swap and they want to preserve the fine print of their wedding vows.    Others use soft swap as a kind off first or second step of a ladder that may end in a full swap experience down the road when the relationship between the two couples is more established.    If one person in the couple, is not physically able to participate in sexual intercourse, then soft swap can be amazing as you can reach great heights in pleasure with the use of just your fingers, hands, mouth, tongue, etc.   A penis doesn't have to be the main event.    Foreplay by itself can drive anyone to complete distraction.   Remember high school? 

Bottom line, soft swap may be a great road to take if you aren't ready to go all the way with another couple.  Most couples will be up for it because, after all, it is just about having fun, and soft swap is a lot of fun.