12 stages of swinging (meeting another couple or single for the first time!)

Feb 03, 2022

This is where it gets interesting. Now if you are strictly on the down-low, you probably don't want to meet anyone in the "community" in your own home town.   If you are a lawyer, doctor, judge, politician, or celebrity in your town and are well known, chances are you want to meet in an entirely different location that in your neighborhood Kelsey's.  So if anonymity is important to you, make the meeting in another town.  Your profile may even list you as living in a town 10 or 200 km away from your own city.     

The first meeting is not actually a date in the sense that anything is going to happen, particularly if you are new.    You need to communicate that typically on the first meeting, you are not really showing up to have sex, but want to meet the person first to ensure a good fit.   If you are clear on that, then people who really want you will come and those that are not motivated enough to get to know you will move on.  In my experience, those people are better left to themselves.     It is important to most women and many men to have a connection that isn't just based on the sexual attraction that comes from looking at a picture.  Good sex, even with strangers, benefits  from a seduction of the mind, playfulness, flirting, and  the anticipation of meeting up for an encounter.  Don't rob yourself of that excitement by trying to think of swinging as  Tinder date.  It's not and it has the potential to really be a very positive or negative experience.  Most women report that rushing into a sexual encounter without considering the compatibility of a sexual partner, can be a huge mistake.     

If you are nervous about being able to keep the conversation going, google some leading questions, prepare a story or two about yourself, and be prepared to not talk about sex immediately.  It is never a good sign if the only thing you have in common is a desire to get laid.    The best new playmates actually get each other and like each other and often will be keen to meet up again.   

End the first meeting with an agreement to chat again soon and if you feel very positive, you can share your contact information.    If you need time to think things over, then tell them and if you don't see a future, tell them early and they will thank you for not wasting their time.    Remember, the purpose of the first meeting is to make a friend,  which may lead to some pretty spectacular sex if you end up meeting again.     Never pressure anyone to have sex on the first meeting.  If a woman asks, then fine but it shouldn't be the guy pressuring a new first date to have sex.  It can reek of desperation, particularly when the purpose of the first date was a meet and greet. 

Your only goal, is to have a nice meeting and to have hopefully a second date.   Remember to send the a thanks for meeting you, even if you have to let them down gently that you don't see a future.     If you do want to see them again, suggest some times and dates and ask them to get back soon so that you can schedule it.   You are ready now for your second meet...